How free are you? Free enough to piss on any road we want. But free enough to get away to someplace and spend some time alone? If we are rich, we have to make sure we stay rich, and if we are not, then we should make sure to get rich. The delusion is to get rich so that one can achieve a stature where they can finally be free. But looking it from an outsiders perspective, it is a circle. We begin at some point, dreaming of an endpoint, but it never ends. The quest of life is to finally be free, but when?

If we look at this circle of the chase of life, we can call it a spiral. We begin at some point, and we realise we are not free, we understand that we have to run in the line to be free finally and reach our destination, but that point never comes. If the starting point is ‘existence’ and the endpoint is ‘death’, all that happens in between is a spiral. It is never a straight line; it is always a loop! We chase money instead of an object.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on

No matter how evil that may sound, we all are material beings. It is material that we desire. We work, or we put some labour to gain some fruit. But the fruit of our labour is snatched away from us, and we get a paper called money. The concept is to exchange this paper to buy some material that brings us joy. But our desire to work has not become some object, but our passion is on the very paper, money!

We have begun to buy objects not to satisfy our needs and feel joyous but to live up to the standards of everyone around us. There is nothing wrong with buying what you love. If your target is to enjoy a holiday in GOA and you have worked six months to earn enough money to do that, do that! People make you guilty for buying something for yourself. But there is nothing wrong in purchasing a fleshlight for yourself if you want it.

But if you buy a car just because you have to buy it to create a social identity, you are lost in the spiral of forever chase and EMI! EMI is not dividing your money into specific months; it is dividing your labour too. In the delusion of buying anything you want, you choose EMI. And when you realise that you are drowned in debts, it is too late. It eats your entire salary and salary is not a gift, it is a fruit of your labour!

The only way to be a hacker in this spiral life is to use the money to do what you want. Buy whatever you want. Save just enough for you to live till you get the next job if you are fired, or you left. Utilise the gaps in jobs. Go freelancing if you want and enjoy your own life in the way you want. You have a choice right in front of you. You can either delude yourself in this meaningless existence that you are going to be free some day.
Or you can start living your life in the way you want and embracing the nothingness!

I was sitting in a cafe, sipping a cold drink. The drink passed in my throat, I can feel it going down my throat and falling into my belly. Right when it hit the bottom of my stomach, I couldn’t feel it anymore. This thought struck my mind, and it made e forget that I’m sitting in a cafe. I was lost in my thoughts. This drink, when mixed with all the half-digested junk in my tummy, becomes something else. It isn’t the soda that I drank anymore. It’s some dude’s half-digested stomach acid. So, the soda doesn’t exist now. It existed a while ago till it was in the throat. But now, it doesn’t, and you can’t turn me upside down and get it back. If you try that, you might get that semi-digested white puke that is not the soda anymore.

So, is this what happens to me? What A I? I’m a skeletal structure, and above that, a muscular one fit with all the organs in a way that I have consciousness. I’m me, till I am conscious. So, if I’m not conscious, aware and awake, am I non-existent? I lost in dreaming about ‘nothing’. I could see something black everywhere. But I know that ‘nothing’ would not be black, because black is something, for it to be nothing, I have to imagine a blank space. I realised that it is humanly impossible to imagine nothingness as we have something or the other to always think about. We can not really think nothing like those meditation fantasisers claim. The close one to nothing that I could think was everything!

I imagined everything instead of nothing but excluded me out of the picture; I imagined the world as it is, full of splendour and horror. And I imaged the dog sniffing in garbage and perverts sniffing thrown panties. The world is the same, the mixture of every opinion it contains. Just one difference; I don’t exist anymore. This thought struck me from the back like an ice pick with full of snow on it. I felt breathless like, Jean-Paul Sartre; nausea. Nothing mattered anymore. I can see my reflection in the empty bottle on the table in front of me. It exists, it is a plastic bottle designed to contain a liquid that people consume; It has a purpose that’s solved, and I trash it.  And it goes into the dump and from there it recycles. It’s molten and becomes some other product, or ironically the same bottle again.

But this one, this new transformation is different from the older bottle. Even though it is the same bottle, it is different. It is not the old bottle now, it changed. As per our understanding, its existence has not ceased but transformed into something else or the same thing again. But it is not exact, it is different. Maybe there was an imperfection in the bottle somewhere, perhaps it had an extra plastic layer on it, but it has some new flaws now. It is not the same bottle even if it looks like it. This made me realised how objectified are religious people. Maybe they don’t voluntarily do that, but they compare themselves with objects. They think like this bottle even they are made by some external being, filled with some purpose, and after the fulfilment of that purpose they believe they are re-used.

I think I know how they came to this conclusion. The religious people are just like me, just like how I felt about this soda bottle, they thought about it too, looking at the mirror. They compare themselves with the things that they see because these things are what immediate to our sense and intellect. We can see them, think them. But we can’t think about what is not there. We can’t think about the things that happened before us that connect to us. We don’t know what our parents were thinking about before conceiving us. Or we don’t know what happens in the baby-making factory of God. We don’t even know if God is a dude or an animal. What we speak about or think about God or anything that we haven’t seen by comparing it with things that we have seen and try to make it sense.

But we haven’t seen them, we are not capable of thinking about something before or after our existence. But I have successfully done that. I have thought about the world where I don’t exist. I ceased to exist. I’m lying in the ground, six feet under. Years have passed, and my descendants don’t even know that it is me that brought them into existence. The graveyard has been destroyed, and now the land is a real-estate venture. The tractors moved the soil. My fragile bones broke because of the pressure, and now they got jumbled; My favourite face, the beautiful face that I apply moisturiser every day is now a skull with no features half-cracked inside the ground. And my flesh in the tummies of maggots long back now. My energy drained in the soil went into the roots of a plant. It sucked me with its rots from the humus. And my jaw, my beautiful jaw broken because of the soil-digging, has now surfaced. My jawless skeleton lay underground.

This spectacular jaw attracted the skinny stray dog. It found a play toy in this calcium deposit that I once wielded a majestic beard; It held the jaw in its mouth and ran all over the venture. And It played with my jaw, and the tooth that was stuck on it fell on the ground. My sharp-canine got into a car tyre, made it flat. This angry driver threw my tooth out of this tyre on the filth beside the road. I exist! I exist in the plant’s body, I exist in the maggots that have eaten me, I exist in the dog’s mouth and car’s tyre. But it is not me, it was me, but not me now. Now it is a mere veil that had held me like the empty bottle with no soda. My muscles, my organs, my brain and my functions and my user-interface, the mind, they don’t exist. I transform into a plant, my cells live.

I existed even before I was born, like the stardust. We all don’t cease to exist, we transform. And we change from a being sitting in a cafe sipping a cold drink to dog’s play-bone and a maggot’s midday meal. We are eternal. It is just our consciousness that is not. It is a limited offer which is a result of evolution by natural selection. The cell in evolution had thought it’s best if this ape gets consciousness. Thus, the mind, and existence of consciousness. And here I exist. As a memory in the mind of myself writing this in the future after my cafe episode. Then the regular diversion have started. I have crossed all these thoughts off my brain; I wanted to close my eyes for a while and when I open it, I don’t want to picture my death anymore. And I want to delude myself into believing that I have a purpose like that plastic bottle.

I have lot of things to do, it is time to work, I thought. I stood-up walked away and looked all these people in the cafe, not knowing what happens to them after dying. They think they will transport to heaven or some think they stop existing. No, they exist, in a different form. A form that we don’t want to imagine. We turn in to the half-digested juice of this world’s other beings. But no, why should we think about it, it doesn’t matter. Let’s just look at that toe massager, dream of buying it. Let’s chase a paper print called money. Because I think any diversion is better than thinking about this. Or maybe we can embrace it, by calling it a random event that we had no say.

Our purpose, or to be precise, the purpose for us to have consciousness is to make these cells replicate and live long. Thus our purpose ends as other beings in the world use our energy, cells and etc. Hence our purpose solves. We transform! We exist, not same, but different!

Hey pals, so still stuck at a point where you are being judged? or finding it hard to place yourselves at a point in life? No worries, we are here to brighten up your day. Don’t worry, we are not selling any products for you, neither asking time if you have time for the Lord, our saviour “Cthulhu“. In the following article, let me help you understand what you did wrong in life. So that you would finally get it.

Having An Opinion:
What? You had an opinion on something? How dare you? I mean don’t you understand this, you should not have an opinion on something. Your research may be correct, you might actually state facts but you should not have an opinion. Did you use your education and resources to have an opinion on something? How condescending! But to save us from this we always have people who correct us by their opinions, not facts. How lucky we are! Next time don’t give them work. Don’t have opinions.

Standing Up When You Get Bullied Or Trolled:
Do you see how silly it sounds? Standing up for yourselves? Come on, who do you think you are? They are trolling you and having fun, let them enjoy, why are you stopping it? I mean, you must be fun at parties. It may hurt, but who cares? The others are having fun don’t stop it. Get bullied, let people enjoy when you mentally breakdown and cry. You are getting trolled and getting memes being made on you? Get trolled, see people are laughing so must take it. You are not special okay!

Stating A Rational Thought:
Did you state a rational thought on someone’s belief? What the hell is wrong with you? Are you dumb? Why don’t you understand this? You think you are rational and therefore they are facts, huh? Don’t you know that loud voices matter most instead of a fact? But luckily, even for this, we have people who cuss even our families and us, so that we don’t state facts next time. I’m feeling privileged!

Sharing Passions With Your Family:
You asked your family members that you have a passion and want to follow it? Oh, my sweet summer child! Did you have a concussion or an aneurism? You have a passion and want to follow it? Oh gosh! You are completely wasted! Who have passions? Only successful people! How did they become successful? By following their passion! Don’t you think and understand this? Luckily even here we have family who brings our self-esteem and confidence down by saying things like “You are a disgrace to this family” ” I wish you weren’t born.” So that we don’t have demonic possessions like “passion.”

Setting Your Personal Life Goals Based On Your Strengths:
That is the dumbest thing you can do! Setting goals based on your strengths? What is wrong with you? Did you use your mind to think? Are you doing drugs or what? How foolish of you? You yourself decide when you marry, have kids, where to work and what to do? Don’t you have a fear of being judged for minding your own business? If you do everything on our own, what is the need for relatives? And who gave you the right to think about yourselves. Don’t do this; let others decide what you do.

Feeling Sad When You Are Backstabbed. Specially In Work Place:
You are sad when your colleague backstabs you and takes a promotion? I mean you believe you deserve a promotion? Come on, come back to reality! Your colleague outsmarted you. How stupid of you to trust them? You revolted against them when you found this? Oh man, you never see it do you? They just used you and thrown you out like a tissue. They might say “Don’t worry God will take care of everything.” You might get thoughts like “Around 1.08 million people died of corona and he couldn’t save them, why would he give a rats ass on a guy who got betrayed at a workplace?” That is a question for a different day. Don’t get thoughts like this, just work like a slave and try to be a slave master next time.

In the end, if you don’t follow the above steps, you will have a complete life. Yes one more important thing, if anything wrong happens to you without you doing anything, raise your hand and say “It is my fault.” That is the cherry on the top! Congratulations! You finally got it!

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