Indian Marriages

Marriage. What a Useless Affair!

I sat in front of my computer, thinking about what to write for today. And I realised that it had been too long since I wrote about any contemporary issue. I have been avoiding new issues because I see people who exist in the modern world that refuse to accept that there is a problem here. I didn’t have the patience for explanations. But it has been a long time and yeah, let’s take a dig at it! And today’s post is going to be a ‘roast’ on one of the most useless traditions we follow, marriage!

The only logic why marriage keeps on passing from generations to generations is because “My grandfather married, my father married so guess I’ll be married too”. I don’t think anyone even thinks about it. It is like a pre-existing condition that is automatically accepted by everyone without ever questioning it. It is worse than blind faith. Why is it necessary for any human to marry others? What is marriage? A sacred bond, my ass, it is a bond, like a literal paper of bond, an agreement!

Marriage - Rick Morty

“Please read the terms and conditions and sign the document below.”

If by marriage, you mean love between two people and their wish to live together, why do they need a paper? If there is not enough trust in them to live together, why to live together? Who is forcing you guys to sleep on the same bed every day! Why can’t you stay in your own homes and continue loving if you are not sure of living together? I also don’t think most of the married people or people ready to marry think of these things.

No-one even questions why one should marry! I have run around many societal norms, and it pains me to see they exist in the same world where I live. I’m usually referred to as an upper-class punk who haven’t yet faced any severe problems. I accept the silver spoon, but I also get that this silver spoon made it possible for me to be jobless enough to think about a lot of things. That’s what I do, I think! And that is why I am bothered with issues like this!

Marriage is the second most brainless thing humans do; the first is to assume that God is a person and has magical powers. Enough of ranting, and let’s get into why a marriage with no proper understanding is dumb! To get into that, let us explore the idea of ‘arranged marriage’ in Asian and Middle-eastern countries! Sometimes I’m surprised by how people are convinced with the idea of an arranged marriage! It is like “My daughter is ready for mating” “Is it! So is my son. How about letting them mate?” “Wow! great, so you like your son to mate with my daughter?” “Of course! But you have to pay me some rent as I’m letting my son plant a seed in your daughter” “Sure man, that would be pleasure. How about letting me bargain for the rent?” “Not a problem, give me gold instead.” 

Marriage done,

Relatives praising for how the couple is made-for-each-other

Posts online “My better half” “He calls me Baby” “She calls me Tiger.”

Gets on the bed, forces his way in, takes what he believes is his.

Gets pregnant, stays with the ‘tiger’ because of the kids.

Arranged marriages are killing the lives of many women. In a sexually repressed country like India, men and women are abstinent from sex till the wedding. All this repression of 2,3 decades comes out in the form a brutally violent act in which they would care less about the partner’s consent. Because by marriage, you are giving the person right to have sex. Do parents understand that they are letting strangers in their daughter’s pants? Many men suffer from this marriage system too.

In a typical arranged marriage, society expects man to be alpha by hunting money and bringing food while the wife gets to wipe the kid’s ass. The societal pressure on the man to have kids, buy things and own a house make them repressed from living their lives. They live their lives to balance themselves in societal acceptance. And all this starts with the concept of the wedding! Imagine a man born in some house, a woman in some other place. They have met, liked each other and decided they have the perfect compatibility to live together and have agreed to do so. They did not marry, because they didn’t need it. Now again, believing that a couple would stay together lifelong is a crappy thought! I see how married older women refute the idea of divorce. 

“The modern culture is rotten they have too many divorces,” they say! Of course, you would say that aunty, because you are jealous of the couple who decided to break up and live their own life, you never got the chance to live yours. Yeah, of course, you would say that! People expect marriage to last for a lifetime, and the people around us force the couple onto each other if they have a little gap. It is common for a couple to have gaps, and even if they decided to take a divorce, what makes you force them on to each other?

What makes you judge them just for not being together? They decided to not live together just like they chose to live so earlier. But yeah, here’s the problem in societies like India. It is the other people that choose which couple should live together, and thus the right automatically goes to them if you wanted to separate. It was never your choice to live with someone in the first place. You did not have the nerve to fight for your life; you heard the words of predators and hypocritic and jealousy older women. And thus you suffer in the void of a wedding! You couldn’t choose your own life’s choice, and now you take up the lives of other people; the partner and the partner’s family. You suffer in the unbearable weight of this burden! Just because you valued someone else’s opinion and word of mouth!

Ah! Marriage. What a useless affair!

Published by

Manoj Sri Harsha

A filmmaker who's also a philosopher and I have always been a writer. My urge to tell stories have provoked and boosted me to write my thoughts out as words, sentences and essays! I treat storytelling objectively and would always try new things to tell any story in a different way. Big fan of the Avant-garde!

Leave a Reply