Its 4 am, it has been three days we broke up. I am unable to sleep.
My minds play the moments I spent with her in repeat mode. Neither I can talk to her, nor I can move on from her. I have spent all these three days in my bedroom neither my parents know it nor my friend. Eyes are tired of crying. The mind is filled with numbness. Somehow I passed one month with this sorrow in my heart. Let me tell you guys. In these 30 days, I carried tons of weight of the heart. I was tired of thinking and crying for her.
The worst part is, Aafreen called me to meet in college. I went to meet her. She was sitting on the bench in the Garden. When I was seeing her from far, I don’t know why I felt; It’s going to be worse. I was preparing myself. Then I said, “Let’s face it”. I went near her, didn’t say hai to her. Just sat on the other end of the bench, by crossing my legs.
Aafreen- Hai. How are you, Suraj?
Suraj– You didn’t come here to know how am I right?
Aafreen– Why are you rude to me?
Suraj– Am I? Aafreen I don’t have the energy to argue with you. Please tell me why you have asked me to meet. Otherwise, I will leave.
Aafreen – Suraj, I am sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you, and I shouldn’t have interfered in your life.
Suraj– You shouldn’t be sorry for coming into life. You should be sorry for abrupt ends.
Do you know? How I am being these days. YOU block me whenever you want, and you talk to me whenever you like. Is this how it is. I shamelessly accept all this for my love towards you.
Aafreen– Suraj, I accept everything that it’s my mistake. But I didn’t know anything to do.
But Suraj, I come from a different world, Where I cant love. Somehow my heart didn’t listen to me. whatever it’s my mistake, As your JON SNOW(Game of thrones lead actor) said, “One shouldnt promise which he cant behold.”( smiling)
My intent was never to break your heart, I always wanted to be in your heart. But it happened.
Suraj– I am sorry for being rude. There was a lot of pain inside me that came out as anguish. By the way, You never promised until I insisted, maybe somehow I was also a partner of this reason of pain.
Aafreen– Suraj, I called you for a reason. I am leaving the city. Maybe you can never see me. But this a goodbye Suraj. All I wanted to say, I am sorry, and Whether you believe it or not, I loved you. I miss you a lot. Please be happy. Do whatever you want to do in your life.
When I was about to convince “Aafreen, listen to me.”
She said, “Please suraj, let it be. This is it.” She went away.
At the moment, guys, I was feeling dead inside. For 4 months, I lived with a burdened heart. Slept with old pain and woke up with new pain. It was so hard for me to smile even. I cried for no reason some times.
It got worst when I met with an accident. My hand was fractured, and I got a severe knee injury. When I met with an accident, Zameer was the one who received the call of my accident. He carried me to the hospital, took care of me for 2 days continuously. He was there with my family and me. When my M.tech classmates told to Zameer that I have been going through all this. He was furious towards it.
One morning, When I was crying on my hospital bed, and he saw it.
Zameer– What happened? Is it paining?
Suraj– I am unable to forget her Zameer. Will she ever miss me? Like I miss her.
Zameer- Why do you want to forget her. You just need to accept that it was only a beautiful memory. You had your first love dude, you loved her with utmost sincerity. She loved you back. But some are not destined.
Everything in this world had some expiry period. I know its hard to move on, But the hardest thing is not accepting the reality. Start your new journey.
Suraj-Sorry man, I didn’t know how to share with you.
Zameer– Don’t worry, I will always find about you. By the way, we are going home.
Suraj– Thanks dude
Zameer– Abey chup na..
In the process of time, I started to come out of it. It was hard, but I never gave up. I said to myself, “It’s Ok”. It’s not that I forgot entirely, but I moved on. Whenever I think of Aafreen, a smile comes, for me, Aafreen is my smile.
Moving on is the greatest gift for human beings. Always remember life is a lengthy equation with different functions, including love, but all you need to know is how to make L.H.S = R.H.S.