Will she ever miss me? – Part I


Its 4 am in the morning, it has been 3 days we broke up.

My eyes got tired of crying, but my heart doesn’t get tired of missing her. I used to get drowsy when I was talking to her, ironically, I can be awake for one more month, if she can speak now.

My brain is rewinding all the episodes of lovable moments we had.

It goes back to 2012, when I was the student coordinator of our college annual day celebrations, waiting in the student podium right back at the stage.

A jasmine smell holds my senses for seconds, there a girl with leafy green saree, purely ethnic, spreading the beautiful aura around her comes beside me.

I just felt that moment completely, she was completely over my brain. I forgot that I exist in the same world that she lives. I never had that strong opinion on love. Because I never felt that it exists in this world. But destiny never leaves a bit to prove one wrong.

Suddenly, When I was staring at her, she just patted me to move aside as her performance was next. There was only one thought that day, who is she? My mind was playing her image in my brain as a GIF.

I tried to find her at the stage after her performance is done, but I missed her. I even thought of searching her through the college bus but couldn’t find her. I told my best friend about her, and he just felt that I got a massive crush on her. 

But I slept with only one question in my mind, WHO IS SHE?

But the next day, my eyes started to search for her in the college… unfortunately we had a dress code in our college. I was watching every girl for her.. but I couldn’t find a glimpse of her. I was totally disappointed. The bell rang, and I went to attend my classes.

Still, my mind is busy thinking about her.

I formed a routine of searching at the college bust stop while going in and out of the college. Two weeks had passed, still no use.

When I was attending a lecture on fluid mechanics, where there was a problem with a lot of data, and you need to find a simple answer.

But suddenly when I was solving it, I found out that I need a simple answer which requires two characteristics, which were clearly given and I solved it.

However, while solving the problem, I got a clue to find her. May be searching for her bluntly without using brain is not fetching fruits.

I reminded myself,

Clue no-1- she came to perform at annual celebrations.

Clue no-2- time was around 7 to 7.30 pm

She will be in the list of cultural performers of the annual college day celebrations. Then I straightly went to the cultural event coordinator who was my friend, took the listing. I searched the list, there the name flashed “AAFREEN-3rd year ECE -Bharatanatyam performance.”

Suddenly my subconsciousness gave me one more thought, Aafreen indicates an Islamic name. I am from a Hindu family, this difference created a small disturbance in my heart. The moment of happiness of finding her name was vanished due to the twist in the tale.

I was with complete disappointment throughout the day, just don’t know what to do?

Then my friend Zameer came and asked:” Is it about the girl?”

I replied, “it’s not about the girl, it’s about me?”

he asked,” What is it?”

I replied,” maybe I can’t love her ?”

He asked,” why is it so?”

I replied,” because she is Muslim.”

He asked,” which is I am too?”

I replied” this is different. “

He said ” friendship and love are the two beautiful choices that god gave to us, which shouldn’t have any barriers. Have a courageous heart to pursue it” then he just patted on my shoulder.  

From that next moment, 

I ultimately know that I will love Aafreen to the best I can.

Those words from my friend did make sense to me. 

The next day, I was waiting for her at her department block, I can surely say my heart was beating so fast that I could have produced the electricity for our house for one year. Boys and girls were going into the classroom.

Suddenly, a group of girls who were wearing burkha were going to the classroom. I felt that she might be one of them. I just followed them. They went into the class. I waited at the window. I want to see her whether she is there are not,

I just shouted from the window,” AAfreen.” 

One response to “Will she ever miss me? – Part I”

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