Infertility? Take it with a smile, it’s not a taboo!

By – Gayatri Agarwal

She can’t bear a child! What a shame! She can’t even keep her man and the family happy! Is she fit for anything?

Why can’t it be him? Why can’t we have a holistic analysis of any problem? Why is it that we blame the women first?

Infertility! It is NOT a taboo!

In India, about 1 in 6 couples are impacted by it. Nearly 27.5 million couples actively trying to conceive, suffer from it. India is a country with a wide diversity. There is diversity in customs, traditions and quality of living. All these factors contribute to Infertility along with our lifestyle, the food we eat, our habits, the climatic conditions and the stress levels too. 

Misconceptions about Infertility run deep; from family members to society at large, people widely hold opinions about it. Infertility is often considered as a subject which is not to be spoken or discussed off because of the lack of awareness and the fact that people tie it with religious norms, status symbol and family pride even today, oh yes, by even today. I mean this is the 21st century!

The myths and the judgements that are attached with Infertility are numerous. They are such that they will instigate the person who wouldn’t have thought about it even in his/her dreams, such is the power of the society. Instead of relating Infertility to one’s karma or playing the blame game, one must be supportive of the couple without making them feel like their social or personal identity is being compromised. 

As per recent stats, in cases of Infertility, female factors account for 40%, men 40% and the other 20% is from both. So we can clearly say that there is equality here at least and that too with a proof. So, why is it that we assume that something must be wrong with the women if the couple doesn’t have a child? Why is the manhood never questioned? And even if it is why the ego clash? Nobody is born perfect and making peace and understanding with the imperfections is what makes a couple a real couple! Why is the focus on women when it should be on both? Child-bearing is as much responsibility of men as it is that of the women.

Whether it is a low sperm count, low sperm motility, or abnormal sperm, male Infertility can result from many causes. Admitting that the male could be infertile can help the couple save a lot of treatment time, procedures and lessen the pressure and stress on them. Getting the right help for the right person at the right time can empower the couples and make their lives move at ease.

With the medical advancements available now, it’s time to look beyond the petty things of blaming; by understanding and acknowledging Infertility to be like any other medical condition which can be treated easily. As a society, what an Infertile couple needs the most from us is to be held up and assured with empathy, maturity, and most importantly, to be listened to without being judged. Let’s make them feel welcome so that they can address this condition as healthy people and move forward with their lives happily!

And for any men dealing with this situation, a little understanding, a fist full of maturity and lots of support for your women is what will get you through this situation with ease and lots of love! Only after the thunderstorm and rain comes the rainbow. 

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Writing is not a skill acquired through practice. Not for us, at least. Writing is a phenomenon that occurred to us when we wanted to shout our thoughts out. It occurred when our brains formed a labyrinth of thoughts with no way out. Only way was to break the walls, the walls we constructed in our minds. The walls which stopped us from letting ourselves out. We broke the walls using the most mightiest weapon, the pen. Writing was our way out of that maze. Words and sentences flowed like a stream of some river, which consisted of A2Z instead of H2O. Soon the river filled the brain and the labyrinth was not visible anymore. 

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